Into the rabbit's hole

I am sitting here waiting for my Mom to come out of the store, and I thought I would take this opportunity to write a blog. Been kind of a down day being Father's Day and all. Kind of down, but it will pass I guess.

I have been noticing a change in myself lately. I used to be very giving and jump on things to help people and ease their difficulties. Lately, however, I have been very apathetic toward the whole matter. If someone needs something, I am still there, but I quit offering. Why put myself in a position anymore. I really don't want to be that person anymore I don't think. I don't want to be known for being a good listener or a good friend, I want to be known for being Areef.

I have very much dug myself a little hole, and I don't have plans of coming out. Not being anti-social or depressed, just not making an effort so to speak. There are some things in my life that I wish were different, and that's why I am anxious to go in August. Being separated from those things may be for the best.

Trying to figure out things to do to pay for medical school. I got denied my loan so trying to figure out what to do now.

I was hanging out with home friends for a while but that has somewhat subsided. I am looking forward to this weekend though. Should be sufficiently awkward. Should be fun...well my Mom is back, and I am going back into my little hole. Till the next time I venture out then.