Random Thoughts Part XVI

1. I cannot stand presumptuous waiters that think that it is OK to touch my water glass in order to make room for the plates. First of all, make a fricking table that has room to eat and not cluttered with all this shit that does not impress me...especially is that damn candle is not real...where is the fun in that...Second of all, I consider myself a decent human being, I will make arrangements to move items around the table so that you may put down the plates. DO NOT TOUCH MY GLASS!!!

2. I believe in a God, but sometimes I think he does things just to laugh at my plight. I am very systematic when it comes to eating my food, and one of the elements of my eating process is that I save the best morsels for last. Just when I get to those last bites, God intervenes and makes my clumsiness drop it on the ground...and sadly no piece for Areef. At first I believe it was just me that was a moron leading to these occurrences, but considering the amount of times that this has happened in the most random ways, I blame it all on God.

3. I cannot stand people bagging my items. Yes, when I first get in line, I am excited since I can just be lazy, stare, and zone off for a good minute or two. Much to my dismay, however, Americans are morons, especially those that work on grocery stores. First off why you are putting my batteries in with my bread?! I do not believe the batteries will leak, but dammit that is just wrong. Who in their right mind would think mixing bread and batteries was OK in any circumstance. Not only that as the items continued to come on down, there were just three items left, shampoo, toothpaste, and flour tortillas. I think he understood that I was upset by the batteries and bread incident from my glare, so he thinks that its OK to put the shampoo and toothpaste in one bag and the flour tortillas get their own. Yes, lets just create more bags that I have to carry in, because that is so much more convenient especially for one item. I guess its not good for the environment either, but whatever.

4. What is up with people with big hair? First off I cannot stand big, poofy hair. Not appealing in any sense, but did they ever just once stop and think of the ramifications of their decision. How the hell am I supposed to watch the movie with your big poodle head blocking the view?!

5. One of the best feelings in the world: the restaurant pager going off. You strut up to the front and act like you just won the lottery. You then look around at all the other unlucky folks and think, "Yah, that's right Bitch, I was chosen." Oh the little things in life that make us feel special and like any of us actually matter.

6. What the hell is up with baby talk? Like the baby can actually understand the rubbish coming out of your mouth. In the end, you just sound stupid and probably increasing the chances of your baby growing up to be a retard.

7. I was in Wal-Mart today, following my Mom aimlessly. All of a sudden a splash of water fell on my head. I look up and there is a tile missing ONLY where I was standing and no where else in the store. I look down and there is no other water and no caution signs. This was no ordinary drop, it was like half a glass! This is very fishy, either someone planned for me to be there or God is up to his old tricks again. Blast him.