An Iridescent Horizon

*Second Post

As the walls began to crumble on all sides of her, Lady Macbeth was presented with a biting truth. The duty and sacrifices that she was making for her husband were all a farce. She had lived her life striving to create a foundation for her and her own, not selfishly thinking of herself, or so she thought. In the end though, it was her own selfish ambition that led to her and all of her kin’s destruction.
I used to be a staunch supporter of Lady Macbeth, because I could commiserate with her. She was an idol to me, because I wanted to be like her. I thought that my purpose on this Earth aligned with her courage, selflessness, duty, and determination.

Like her though, I too have been stripped down. A shattered ego; a clean, crisp decree has been issued. I have lived my life a certain way, and I still believe in my duty. Where my mistake is that I let emotion creep into my rationale just as Lady Macbeth’s ambition did to hers. Yes, she sought to support her husband, but her emotions guided her on her path rather than her true resolve. In my quest for fulfillment, I have created many bonds and connections along the way. I let my emotions attach myself, and from there I subconsciously earn for some sort of retribution; albeit in the form of appreciation and care.

I once took pride in my personality, in my compassion, empathy, selflessness. But I realize now, that the cloak that surrounded my strengths was a deceptive one. It was one that coveted reciprocity. This inner truth has been exposed, and I have but two choices now: Lay down my arms and concede defeat, or fashion out of the rubble a new sense of self and continue on my path.

My emotions have clouded my vision; they have destroyed the environment around me. I have surrounded myself with a thorny foliage of which I must now cross. I feel like there is something bright upon the horizon. Something that I have been searching for, yearning for. Lady Macbeth took her own life because she could not handle what her subconscious destruction did to those around her. I have the ability to go beyond this. I have the strength to gather myself and fight for a higher path, fight against a menagerie of emotions trying to hold me back, fight against an ill-fated past of which I must learn to suppress. My iridescent future lies waiting; waiting for me to reach.