1. I really hate the term next in referring to dates. Let's hang out next Thursday. What the hell does that mean? Some people might see that, and be like "Oh, ok well two days from now is Thursday, so we will hang out then." Others, including myself, might think well this Thursday is only two days away, its already on the docker and radar, so NEXT Thursday must mean the Thursday following that is not in the immediate future. This is very upsetting. It has caused way too many problems for me. I have decided to abolish the term next.
2. I was driving down the road minding my own business, and I saw some pigeons on the road. I think that they will move once I get close enough. 100 ft...50ft...10ft...0ft...NOTHING! The damn things did not move. They went right under my car, and who knows if I flipping killed them. It serves them right though. WE HAD A DEAL! We let them perch on our statues and shit on our sidewalks, the least they can do is get off our roads when we are driving.
3. I love things that shatter. When I am stressed, I take ice cubes and throw them against the walls. Very therapeutic. Also when I see glass buildings, my first thought immediately goes to how cool it would be too see it explode, shatter into a million pieces and rain down upon the people below. Of course I would not want anyone to get hurt, but still it would be really cool!
4. English muffins are delicious.
5. I hate when people tell me to turn off the water when I am brushing my teeth. I like fricking having the water on, and I will continue to do so. I enjoy the sound, and I am incapable of brushing my teeth without it spilling out of my mouth (I have trouble of keeping things in my mouth). I do not like stains, just whatever...
6. OK, I am sick of these Obama-MLK-Lincoln comparisons. The first time the comparisons came up, I saw it in a couple of editorial cartoons and I respected it. However, at this point, I’m literally sick of it. Is Barack not his own man? To that end, can Obama please stop using Lincoln and MLK as additives to ligitimize his presidency? I’m done with the comparisons ugh.
7. I saw my first public Snuggie the other day. I was quite amazed. I still do not understand this contraption, so I shall have to hold my tongue...it seems a lot better than that Croc bullshit.
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I agree with your first two points. Your second one reminds me of the great Seinfeld episode about the pigeon deal.
ReplyDeleteYou are hilarious. Answer your BB messages damn it, we need to watch 30 Rock!
ReplyDelete1: wtf is "already on the docker and radar" ... do you mean docket? because "docker" means "a laborer on shipping docks; longshoreman."
ReplyDelete2: I do believe you spelled legitimize wrong.
Summary: I would not yell at you about these trivial things, but you are Areef and pride yourself on proper grammar etc. Now I am sure you will find problems with my sentences in correcting you, but IDC because I am Brady lol
Wait wait wait.....you saw someone wearing a Snuggie in public?? If so, that is truly sad. My dad has a Snuggie....if you want to try it out some day, let me know lol Also, going along with the grammar corrections by the person above my comment...you used "too" instead of "to" in #3.
ReplyDeleteYOU ARE WASTING WATER, AREEF!!! Go Green :-)
I'm done now. Good post.
1)...because of me.
ReplyDelete2)...sort of because of me, but mainly the fault of the pigeons.
3)...all you. How many conversations did it take b4 I finally agreed that you weren't a terrorist?
4)...
5 & 6) AMEN!!! I say let the water run free, it's not like it won't be cleaned and reused anyway... and Obama lovers need to shut the hell up and sit down because he will never be the president that Lincoln was, mainly because he would never have the guts to go to war for a good cause. I'll stop.
7)since when have you ever held off judgment? I was under the impression that you judge instantly and leave room for the object or person in question to prove itself or him/herself later if you see it necessary.
:)
i like snuggies! everyone hates on them but i think it is a good idea. Although in public? i'm not sure how that would work...
ReplyDelete