1. So there have been a lot of military commercials lately. Today, however, one came on about some traditional Indian family having their son want to go into the military. I can speak on this because I am Indian...the only professions you can be are doctor, lawyer, or engineer. Yeah they need to get their facts straight, plus we are not cut out for no military. The biggest work-out we get is sweating from all that damn spicy food we eat.
2. I saw the most amazing thing today. Someone was walking a duck! Straight up had a string around the duck's neck and was just waddling down the street. I do not think I have ever been more inspired in my life. I have added this to my list of things to do before I die: Walk a duck down the street.
3. You know when you just get out of the shower, and you are dripping wet. You reach for a towel to dry yourself off and then wrap it around yourself. I have never had a more unfulfilled feeling as to when the towel barely could wrap around me. I mean he got around but there a slice of me that was exposed. Why in the world would they make a towel that cannot wrap around you? More than that even, why would my Mom buy these cheap ass things.
4. I was walking up the stairs the other day. I go the right side and start my ascent. This large woman is walking down in the same lane as me. She stops and expects me to move and says "Excuse you." Excuse me woman, I could say many things, but you need to get some education. That is what we need in America: Walking etiquette. We drive on the right side of the road. Why in the world would you think this disappears because we are out of car. Everything is designed for the right side. Another instance of the failure of mankind.
5. Elevators just confuse me. I press the down button and wait. The elevator comes and SAYS it is going down, but NO it decides to go up, much to my dismay. I get off only to realize I am on the 4th floor, look like an idiot, and hop back in. We all press 1, but it stops at 2. Thinking it is 1, I get off because no one was there to get on. AGAIN, I look stupid and get off and have to rush back in. Finally we get to Floor 1, and I am about to get off, turn around, and the people are like you can get off now. I felt stupid. I hate elevators. I shall be the last time I ride one for a while.
6. I was sitting in class yesterday, when the person in front of me farts. Not a small fart, one of those loud farts where you have no choice but to admit that it was yours. But no, she did not move. She made no inclination to show that she just farted. Then the lady has the nerve to turn around and look at me. Yes woman, I know you farted, and yes it smells. Do not try and act like you were so sly that if you ignore it no one will care. Oh well, the professor does not like her anyway. Take that.
7. So I have an issue with time obviously. My newest issue is the use of Today and Tomorrow. I hate when I am talking to someone at 1AM on a Monday late night lets say, and I say lets get lunch tomorrow. I mean to get lunch on Tuesday, not Wednesday as they may think. Yah yah new day started at 12AM, we all know that. But the day does not officially end until I go to sleep. Tomorrow begins as Today when I wake up from sleep. That is my final word.
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You make me laugh soooo hard every time I read these. :D I think you may have just inspired me to finish my paper, which is quite miraculous by the way.
ReplyDelete5. You should have seen David and me in the Campus Center last week. We started on the 3rd floor going down to the basement... ended up going to the 4th, then the 2nd, then the 3rd, and then finally to the basement.
ReplyDelete6. Wow... she has some guts. ... lol...
1. I loled at this one b/c this is something I've thought about before and am still thinking about. I've seen the most out of shape ppl join and come out being a great soldier.
ReplyDelete2. We could add this to the list of things to do (right after BBC) when you come back to Indy. I know a great place where we can get ducks, or at least geese, which I'm pretty sure are the same thing. Side note, I once had a girlfriend who would catch a frog, tie a string around it, and take it to all of her finals in High School. She said it either was her seeing eye frog, or that it was telling her the answers.
3. I can't stand to be without clothes for that long. I will take my clothes for the day into the shower with me and put them on in there. Yeah they're usually wet, but I just feel better knowing one less person has seen my fur coat.
4.This happens to me too. I hold up my hands, make a fist and then put my index fingers up and my thumb out. Then I announce L is left. It works by either A) Reminding them they are on the wrong side, or B) Confusing them enough to let me walk by as they try to figure out what the hell just happened.
5. I do this all of the time. I just tell people I have claustrophobia and I just freak out. They usually don't laugh.
6. The best way to solve this is look disgusted, point and say something like "Holy shit lady, that stinks". It will never happen again (and she just may not come back to that class)
7. I agree completely.