Culture Shock

I miss civilization!!!

OMG, it is a lot right now. I mean do not get me wrong, I am enjoying myself here, but what I would give for thai food, or a steak, or ice cream, etc etc...

Some of my friends told me right before I left that I shouldn't drop out, and that they didn't think I was going to be able to handle it. People really under-estimate me, my drive, and my inner strength. Not only am I managing here, but I am thriving.

I got my first B on an exam, ugh...stupid EBM (Evidence Based Medicine)...I have A's in all my other classes, so I guess it is OK. This class is such a joke though, it's almost insulting not to have a 100. The test was impossible though, oh well.

It is so weird being in a totally new element here. People are still feeling each other out. I was having a really bad few weeks, and they kept pestering me what was wrong. Anyone from home knows that when I hit my breaking point I can snap and try to ruin someone's life just by acting on sheer emotion. I try to compose and hold it in though more. It is weird, people here think I am so shy, composed, do not swear, etc. My friends from home would say some very different things lol...I do not think I am being a different person...just really being in tune with a totally different side of me...one that I felt was repressed for a while.

One of the things that I think always kept me at odds with Phi Psi was that it really repressed this side of me. It repressed the introverted, intellectual person that I am. I think just the way the dynamics were, I did not feel like I could be that side of me, and if it ever came it I was just called out for being emotional or thinking too much, etc. I think it has been good getting to know this side of my again though.

I tried reaching out to a few people when I was down. Did not get the response I was hoping, but I have to be strong for myself. I am the only person that has ever been there for me in a large capacity aside from my Mom, and I should really just fall back on myself more.

I miss the cold weather! It is so hot down here, and I have the most wicked sandal tan. I know everyone will be jealous of it when I come home lol.

I am proud of all that I have overcome since being here. Little connection to people from home and having to make my own way. Power-outages are a regular occurrence with internet going out almost daily. No car and difficulties getting anywhere. BUGS, BUGS, BUGS...of all shapes, sizes, and bites, food issues, and much more. If people think I am weak, then they really do not know me, because I do not think 90% of the people I know could be able to handle this. I really do like it here though despite its cons. I think it was a very good decision.

Until next time peeps