Who we are, our identify finds its foundation and is molded by our thoughts. People who use this form of thought and this way of life have the capacity to bring immense amount of joy through thoughts and actions. Joy is a little child that runs after them wherever they go.
I love the paradox of this though. Joy surrounds them, but little joy do they receive themselves. I find myself on this road a lot. I follow what I believe to be right, follow what I believe to be my path because it is RIGHT. Not easy, but right in my mind for me. Why does society frown upon that? People are weirded out by that and ask why not do what makes you happy not what is right.
Do not get me wrong, there is so much I am happy and grateful for in my life, but this happiness is but fulfillment. I try to live my life as a buttress of support for those around me. Look at the beams of a building though. Without the beams, it would shudder and collapse. Yet no attention is paid to the beams. When the beam does break under pressure, people blame it for not doing its duty rather than thanking it for what it had done all this time.
I am not saying I am perfect or saying I am a martyr by any means, but I see the people getting so caught up around me in their own lives. I feel left out, someone to only come to when they need encouragement or motivation. It is weird how people rush back to their past or to the steadfast things in their life only when they need support. All other times, they lose the big picture.
I am happy for the road I am on. It is a difficult, higher road, but pressure is so consuming sometimes to always deliver. A beam has no choice but to accept his place in life, but sometimes the pressure and the hidden role is a lot. I feel like I failed in a lot of notions. I think I made my impact, but none of that is prevalent anymore. Others have taken up what I started. I slip into that hidden role again, something in the past.
I feel inadequate, and just an option. I was something that worked once, but now bigger and better things have come along. I think that is my path, carving out the road for bigger and better things to come. I guess that is something that is vitally important. It may be forgotten or taken for granted, but then again in the end does that really matter? All that matters is to do what it is right. That is the goal of my life.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Why can you not do what is right and make yourself happy at the same time? Why are these such conflicting ideas in your mind? We have talked a lot of this but I still believe you can have both.
ReplyDeleteThe other thing I am concerned about is maybe you don't always see the people concerned about you. It is easy to look out and have one perception, and the other person having another. If you need something of someone ask, a true friend will be there to give it. You can choose to never ask, but it will eventually fall to you. People will stop asking what is wrong when they don't get a reply they can help with.
I have already explained that this is not something that you can necessarily understand. You are not part of my culture, and they are different paths. Your mind does not work the same as mind, no point in trying to change that.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate what you had to say, but I was not really addressing that at all in this post. The post was not a cry out for help, or that I am asking for it.